A biograpy of a cancer patient

She is so born and brought up in Calcutta that when she is really angry she lapses into the vernacular. At such times her family prefers to leave her alone. That is Shobha Bhuwalka for you, at times animated, at other times dead sober, but overall a warm and likeable person. Both she and her husband come from a conservative Marwari family and they lived the early years of their life in Calcutta. Then in 1992 they decided to shift to Pune, a move they now realize was a prudent one. Their children (two boys and a girl) grew up in the then clean, green city, and Shobha is still amazed at the fact that she could stand in her balcony and breathe clean air and see green hills all along the horizon.
Today of course the skyline of Pune has altered to make way for high rise buildings and crushingly crowded roads. However she still dearly loves the city. Her boys spent life both in hostels and with the family because Shobha and her husband believed that grooming in the formative years of school is as important as forging relationships with the family. The children received a judicious mix of both. She was to realize later how beneficial this bonding actually was!
Shobha’s life has always revolved round her children and her family and though she worked a bit, she was self-confessedly more a nest keeper than a lunch chaser. If her family needed her, she dropped her work. If her parents called for help she rushed over. Finally, challenged by her husband’s appraisal, and determined to do something consistently, she signed up for a University course in social work. Everybody was busy, and between college, family and internships her day was full. That she chose social work, and that too pediatric cancer wards as her subject, was a prophetic fact whose impact she was to realize only later. However she never quite sailed through her post graduation if you please. She had several gaps but her professors never stopped encouraging her, and today she feels that, that part of her life gave her a perspective and a rare maturity that is hard put to come by.
If it seems like I am searching for important milestones in Shobha’s life then maybe I am. It could be my own efforts to offer cause and effect to her story or to put what she is facing today in its slotted perspective, and keep away the disquiet. Because today Shobha has been diagnosed with Cancer. Harsh as it may sound to the ears and difficult as it may be to accept it, there is no going away from the fact. But who wants to go away? Me?
Because Shobha has taken it squarely on the chin. It all started with a small lump in the breast. (It usually does) She put off examination till her husband came back from a trip abroad. When she eventually did go to the doctors, they removed it surgically but what she and even they thought was just a lump, turned out to be the tip of an iceberg and she had a rare form of cancer that moved very fast. Then came the major decision of having to remove her breast or treat it with radiation. She took an almost instantaneous decision to have it removed. Her family was aghast. The psychological impact of the disease on the family was traumatic and they had to deal with it each in their own way. Here Shobha is quick to add that the doctor treating her was a genuine human being. He counseled the family, counseled her and offered no false hopes. When she was working in the pediatric cancer ward of the hospital she never imagined she’d ever be on the other side of the spectrum. But her training in that department stood her in good stead and she was better able to deal with all the unasked questions. Now of course her treatment is on and she has to go through the cycles of chemotherapy. On days when her body resistance is low she has to be extra careful. ‘Is she mentally on top of the disease?’ I asked her and almost bit my tongue. Can you ever be…? ‘Well....’ she said, ‘If I had an injury or a protrusion on my body or a physical pain it would have been more real and I would have dealt with it. But this covert disease that has crept upon me has taken me by surprise. One day I was a strong and fit person and suddenly here I am, falling prey to the slightest infection. It’s demeaning.’ It has helped Shobha greatly to have her husband stand by her stolidly. He was initially confused by her mood swings and her exuberances, till she told him it was okay and he had to just be there for her. Her family has come round and each of her sons has reorganized their careers to be with her. She is undoubtedly scared, but support, she says, comes from unexpected sources. Her friends who, when they heard that she was diagnosed with cancer, rushed to be with her. Some who did not know how to deal with it stayed away, and she had to tell them that it was alright to meet. Since she is upfront about it, all awkwardness melts away. She wants to put this one point across very strongly that cancer is not the end of the world. ‘I had issues at first’ she says, ‘but if you take it in your stride, you can deal with it. Nothing should stop you from fighting it.’